On Being Nice and Being Right

Where have all the nice guys and gals gone? They seem to have disappeared. At one time it was not necessarily a compliment to refer to someone in such terms; it was the sort of thing one might say about someone who was not distinguished in any way, but had also managed to avoid giving any particular offense. The result is a nice, as in unremarkable, person. But how often do we hear of someone being admiringly referred to as a nice person, one whose manner of being is such that it stands out for its consideration of others, its unrelenting search for something good to say about a person others would just as soon dismiss? It’s the sort of person U2 sings about: “Grace finds goodness in everything.”

They certainly are not found on tv, though once they were. For all of the bashing 1950s and early 60s shows have taken, there were nice people on virtually all of them, from June Cleaver to Ben Cartwright. See any of them on “Desperate Housewives”? Even the main characters of today’s shows always seem to have an edge about them, one that encourages us from getting too close because of a dangerous personality quirk or thinly veiled troubled past. Nice people are harder to find, maybe because we have this tendency to prove the flaws in anyone presented as a candidate for the title. It’s almost as though one should apologize for being referred to as such, hastening to point out the flaws which disqualify them from holding it. And we all know what happens to good guys in politics. Where do we turn to find lawmakers like Senators Simon and Brooks these days? It’s little wonder that scoring points with the cameras and microphones counts far less than compromising and actually legislating. Woe be to the candidate who doesn’t have swarms of operatives digging up dirt and innuendo on his or her opponent. Again, soundness of positions and proposals is secondary.

Maybe we can find the nice people in the churches of our land. And, indeed, there are many there who might fit the description. Yet I sense that many of them are so in spite of, not because of the leadership of many of our more prominent spokespersons and influence peddlers. In what might be termed the power centers of many a Christian movement or organization, the need to distinguish one’s interpretation, goal, or cause from the plethora of similar ones provides powerful temptation to leave behind the thought that Jesus might want us to actually consider kindness, gentleness, and peace as qualities worth cultivating. Some of the same sort of dirt-digging which we despise in politics happens in churches that need to point out all the obvious errors of others, leaving the listener to conclude that only here will the truth be found.

Don’t misunderstand. Niceness is insufficient for the furtherance of the gospel and its leavening effect in a culture and its call to a rather broken world to seek wholeness in Christ. Niceness in itself does not redeem. There is a real Christ among the various and variously limited presentations of his nature and his continuing ministry in the world; and we should be diligently seeking the real thing. But I suspect rather strongly that this real thing is found equally in the doing as in the seeking. In other words, we cannot—absolutely cannot—get the right answer without being concerned about “doing” the very kind of life He told us to live. And most of us would do well to begin that with a simple commitment to be nice in a very unkind world. Maybe someone might actually ask us what’s up with that; and we’ll be able to tell them what we think is right.

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